It's in the Little Things

Today, A Beautiful Blog continues our month-long series on “Love & Money” with a story about how improving your attitude can improve your marriage.

by Misty Umholtz

I spent the first few years or more of my marriage praying that God would change my husband so we could have an amazing partnership.  I also spent countless hours explaining to my husband what he should be doing to meet my needs. I became so emotionally weary, I felt as though I were beating my head against a brick wall. I can’t imagine what it made him feel like!

I have had a couple of awesome women mentors enter my life. I saw them living the marriages I want to have 20-30 years from now.  I asked them how they got there and I started emulating their example of a Godly wife. Now there are countless books out there on this subject and I have read a lot of them! But what I learned was that it is in the little ways every day that I can give preference to my husband over myself. I started praying, God change me and make me into the best wife for my husband to adore and help me respect him for the rest of my life.

I now choose a spirit of joy and a warm smile to greet him when he wakes up each morning, every time he leaves the house and every evening when he comes home. I also made some minor adjustments to the kids and my schedule so we can better accommodate his schedule and do more together as a family. I make sure I look nice when he comes home and I change into attractive pajamas after the kids go to bed. I also choose to keep my mouth shut when I want to say something negative and I sit by him at night for 15-30 minutes and don’t say anything at all! He loves that one! I ask him what he wants to do on the weekends and I ask his opinion on any topic at hand.

There are days, sometimes weeks, that I fail miserably and think I am too tired or he is not acting right towards me!  I am still in the process of breaking old bad habits and making good new ones. There are times I just don’t feel like putting forth the extra effort and energy. But it is well worth it when I choose to do so. The funny thing is, when I am pre-occupied with my own issues that need improvement, I don’t have time to focus on any of his flaws. In fact, he is so pleased with my kindness that he is treating me exactly the way I wanted him to treat me all along!

I have found that it is the little things we do every day that add up to one big happy marriage.

Misty Umholtz loves being a wife and mom of two small children. She enjoys ministry and she also likes football, which should win her an award for “dream wife.” But on the other hand, her love for shopping might disqualify her from that possibility. You can read more about Misty on her blog, Finding Meaning in the Mayhem.