by Paige Eavenson

Have you ever felt like you are just not getting through to your child no matter what you say or try to do for them? You spend your hard earned money and precious time taking them to some expensive attraction and all you want to get is a picture of them at the attraction and all they want to do is grumble and pout, or better yet pitch a fit because you said, “smile.” I have recently discovered one possible solution to many of the battles we parents face in regards to our children. It’s quite simple and requires just a little bit of effort on your part. All we have to do is learn to speak their love language.

In their book, The Five Love Languages of Children, authors Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell say, “Every child (like every adult) expresses and receives love best through one of five communications styles.” These are called “love languages” and they fall into one of five categories.

  • Quality time
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

The Five Love Languages of Children will introduce you to all five love languages and help you determine the primary language in which your child hears your love. Author Gary Chapman says, “When you learn to speak your child’s love language, you will then be able to meet his or her deep emotional need for love. In other words you’ll be filling their “love tank” when you speak their love language. When their “love tank” is full, they are better equipped to act like the blessing God intended children to be.”

Through reading this book I discovered when I filled up my 7-year-old son’s love tank by demonstrating his love language of quality time, he was much easier to get along with and cooperate when I asked him to do something. My middle daughter, who is 6, is always hugging and leaning on me in some way. I personally like “my space” and I’m usually shooing her off, but by speaking her language of physical touch, just by painting our fingernails together, she left happy with a full tank of love. As for my 2-year-old, I’m not sure yet what her love language is, but after reading this book it shouldn’t be too difficult to figure it out.

So whether your kids are 4 or 40, everyone has a love language and it is definitely worth the investment to learn their love languages and fill up the love tanks of the kids in your life.

Paige Eavenson and her family have been part of Grace Family Church for 13 years and she currently serves on staff as a women’s small group coach. A homeschool mom of three, Paige is an avid reader who loves collecting new friends and helping people get connected into small groups. You can learn more about Paige on her blog,

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  1. Thank you so much for this! I have been struggling the last few weeks with my kids behavior and have felt like throwing my hands up because I just don’t know what else to do! Its as if I just can’t get through to them. I love the adult version of this book. It truly helped my husband and I. I will be searching for the children’s version on my nook tonight!!

  2. Hey Brandi,
    I can certainly relate to having days of frustration with those little kiddos God has blessed us with. I’m always on the search for wisdom on parenting from those smarter and with more experience than I have and this book certainly helped. Hopefully it will give you some new tools to help you as well. Keep up the great work!

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