by Paige Eavenson

Growing up in a conservative Christian home, sex was certainly not the topic of discussion at the dinner table, or really anywhere else for that matter. I was pretty much raised that “good girls” don’t talk about that stuff and they most certainly don’t “do it” until they get married. Somewhere during my teenage and young adult years I picked up the lie that only “bad girls” had sex, and that it was something very naughty that a “good” Christian girl should only do with her husband.

While I do believe, based on God’s word, that sex is intended to be only with your husband, it took me quite a while to overcome the feeling and belief that it was something naughty. In my early years of marriage I struggled with the balance of being “holy” one moment and set apart for God, and then a “hottie” the next moment set apart for my husband. I couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that God was okay with me being both, and that He actually created me to have sexual desire and wanted to  fulfill mine and my husband’s desires through each other .

Those first years of marriage I read several books on marriage but I never really read much on sex. There were no Kindles or ebooks, and frankly who wants to be seen in the local book store reading a book about sex and how to do it. Not this “good girl!” However, if someone had given me Sheila Gregoire’s book The Good Girls Guide to Great Sex, I would have gotten rid of some of those lies I believed and enjoyed the gift God gave my husband and me a lot sooner in our marriage.

Sheila Wrae Gregoire, popular speaker, author and blogger of To Love, Honor and Vacuum, covers all the nitty gritty when it comes to sex in her book. Whether you are married or engaged, this book will equip you and inspire you to make the most of the gift God has given us good girls. In Sheila’s book, she covers just about everything your mom might have been too embarrassed to tell you. Sheila does not hold back in her writing and she will teach you how to have a “Pure, Holy and Hot Marriage,” and even give you some pointers on how to light the fireworks and get the spark back in your marriage bed in a clean, not perverted way.

This book is primarily for those engaged and or married, but I believe it could help women whether you are a virgin or not, to know the truth about sex, what it was intended for and how to make the most of it according to God’s design.

With all this said, I’d love to hear from some of our readers. If you could change one lie you believed in regards to sex what would it be? Or if you could warn another friend about having sex before marriage what would you tell her?


Paige Eavenson and her family have been part of Grace Family Church for 13 years and she currently serves on staff as a women’s small group coach. A homeschool mom of three, Paige is an avid reader who loves collecting new friends and helping people get connected into small groups. You can learn more about Paige on her blog,


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  1. Having been 16 and pregnant before it was cool enough for a reality show, I would send the message that you can justify it all you want, say it has to be okay because you are “really in love”, or you’re “engaged anyway so you’re already committed”, or anything else you can think of to rationalize the wrong of premarital sex–but it won’t change the fact that God placed sex within the bonds of marriage for a reason.

    Don’t assume there won’t be fallout from poor decisions in this area–whether it’s an unplanned pregnancy or just the baggage of having done things out of order, there will be a price to pay. We can’t expect to reap all the benefits of a great sex life outside His design. Stick with His plan and enjoy love and sex the way they were meant to be! 🙂

    As for us, God has brought beauty for ashes and has blessed us beyond our wildest imagination in spite of our poor decisions early on. While we have had baggage to deal with, there is always hope in Him when we align ourselves with His will and live in the abundance He knit into us. A healthy marital sex life is not an illusive dream. It is God’s beautifully woven design for all of us, and He is delighted when we live it out His way.

    We’ve been married 32 years today, and believe me when I say fairy tales do happen. We are living ours together every day.

  2. Paige,
    I love this blog! So glad someone is willing to tell it like it is ~ much needed transparency that will help many. Keep us the good work!!

  3. Well said Lisa! You are an inspiration to those of us who know you personally and I pray God blesses you and Steve with many more years of wedded bliss!

  4. Amen and amen. Paige, you inspire women every day and this article was amazing. Lisa, you are right, there are consequences to actions but also forgiveness and healing in HIM.

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