by Renee Scott

After a period of time the romantic notions that created beautiful sparks in the beginning of a relationship may start to fade.  In case you haven’t noticed, marriage isn’t what you see on television.   It’s a wonderful love affair between two people that takes hard work and dedication.  It’s a promise that is a CHOICE!  You might not always feel like loving the other person, but it’s a pledge that you’ve made until death separates you.  After 16+ years of marriage, two kids, four houses, and a lot of tears and laughs, I understand that marriage is a wonderful partnership when Christ is the center.

Here are some key points to remember:

Understand your purpose in the marital relationship. (Genesis 1:26-28 & Genesis 2:18, 21-22)

When man and woman were created in God’s image, he was very specific in their purpose.  In union together, he commanded them to:

  • Be fruitful  & multiply
  • Reign over every living thing

God specifically created woman to be a helper.   She was intentionally formed and taken from Adam’s rib.  Not from his head to rule over him, not from his foot to step all over him, but from a place of closeness to his heart. 

Love is only right by God’s definition. (I Corinthians 13:4-8)

This passage of scripture tells us exactly what love is.  Have you practiced any of these lately? 

  • Love suffers long & kind. (What does that mean?)
    • Patient endurance under provocation/aggravation.
    • Kind-active goodness going forth in the interests of others.
  • Doesn’t envy.
    • It’s not jealous, bitter, greedy or resentful.
  • Does not parade itself, is not puffed up.
    • What you have belongs to God.  They are bestowed upon us from Him.
  • Love does not behave rudely.
    • If you are acting in love, you will be courteous & considerate.
  • Love isn’t selfish.
    • Will assist others.
  • Love thinks no evil.
    • Thinks the best of people.
  • Love does not rejoice in sin but rejoices in truth.
  • Bears (covers) all things.
    • Patient endurance in ALL things.
  • Love believes all things.

Even though you might not like him, pray for him. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

You might find yourself angry, resentful, and bitter about past hurts.  Be mindful that feeling angry is not a sin.  However, anything that breaks fellowship with God or brethren should immediately be made right.  Don’t let it fester and build.  Here are some tips on dealing with anger:

  • Pray
  • Discuss the pain point (quickly)
  • Listen to your spouse (even if he’s yelling)
  • Don’t respond in anger

Forgiveness is vital in marriage.  Focus your prayers on how God can strengthen and guide you in the difficult situation.  Ask God to allow you to see your spouse through the eyes of Christ.  Reconciliation can only be found through Christ.  Not in your own actions.  Prayer and belief in God’s ability will be the key.

You have an awesome ability to minister to your husband. (I Corinthians 7:16 & Ephesians 6:12)

Our homes are under spiritual attack.  Demons smell brokenness in our marriages like sharks smell blood in the water.  Satan also takes advantage of our weakened souls.  Understand the power that lies within you.  Fight for your marriage and exhaust every effort on the journey to reunion with your spouse.  We are victorious together!


  • The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
  • Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge


Renee Scott is co-founder of the popular blog, Double Portion Inspiration, where she shares encouragement and inspiration to men and women all over the world.  She’s been a member of Grace Family Church for four years. She loves to run and recently completed her first half marathon. She has been married over 16 years to her husband, Alton, and is a mother of two children.

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