By Misty Umholtz
Trials are good for us. They deepen our faith. They challenge us as people. They make us more sensitive and give us the ability to relate to others. They increase our knowledge of God and His presence if we choose to dig deep into Him and His Word during the difficult times.
Let’s be honest, trials are not fun. They are not welcomed or wanted guests in our lives. If there was a way we could learn the lessons God wanted us to without the trials in our lives, I am positive we would prefer to choose that option instead. Trials are necessary to get our attention. God knows right where we need them. It is usually in the crux of what is deep inside our hearts that only He understands. It is out of pain, that we grow.
The past four years, my husband and I have been going through trials that are heart breaking and hard. I suppose that is exactly what God has meant to do. To bring us to our knees in the areas that we needed to bow.
I was praying the other day in the car and sometimes I have no more Bible verses or tears left so I just talk and say whatever comes to mind. It is not usually pretty stuff.
I said, “God, I feel like I am under Your thumb. I feel like you are squeezing everything out of me. There is nothing left of me.”
I sensed Him gently say, “Yes, that is exactly My point.”
At that moment, I knew I had a choice. I could keep struggling and squirming under His thumb or I could simply surrender to the dealings of God in my life. That doesn’t mean I like it or enjoy it.
I said, “Ok, God. Then do it deeper. Do it once and for all. Get rid of everything and anything that you do not want in me. Squeeze out the pride, the selfishness, the judgment, the condemnation, the self-righteousness, the ungratefulness, the jealousy, the ugliness in my heart. Now fill me with humility and compassion and empathy and understanding. Push out the desires, dreams and purposes that are not Yours. For why do I want what I want if it is not what You want? Your kingdom come, Your will be done in my life as it is in Heaven.”
I will choose to remain under the thumb of God if that means He will empty me of myself so that there is room for Him to fill me with Himself.