What My Heart Wants

By Nancy Strackany

“Trust in the Lord and do good, then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.”  Psalm 37:3-4

 

what-my-heart-wantsWhen I was around five I wanted to grow up, be a wife and mom and live in a pretty little house. God granted me that desire and I began my marriage knowing Him and following His ways. Genesis 3:16b says, “in pain you shall bring forth children; yet your desire shall be for your husband and he shall rule over you.” If I read that scripture then, I’m pretty sure I rebelled against it.

 

When Eve disregarded the authority of God and let the sin of pride, rebellion and independence rule her we know how that ended. It didn’t take long for the enemy of my soul to creep into my new Christian family and convince me that desiring the fun of the world was better than any man ruling over me. Years of chaos and unhappiness and shame were the result.

 

God knows that when we disregard his will and follow our own we will not achieve the plans and goals He has for us. He will never force us to do as He asks, as He has given us free will.

 

I sought happiness in my own way, I rebelled against the authority of my husband and I made mistakes that have taken years for my family to heal from. Psalm119:67 is the abbreviated version of my story. “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I keep thy word.” I had to humble myself before God and my family, seek their forgiveness and choose to do things the way God wanted me to.

 

Even though I chose to do the right thing, the desire to change, to love, had to come through a changed heart, a work of the Holy Spirit, and that took time.

 

When my husband does something he is very tenacious. Last weekend he decided to explore the music from the group Abba. He played their music, watched Mama Mia, and later we watched a documentary about them. Somewhere in the middle of this music festival I mentioned to him that Abba means father, and it was in the Bible.

 

A friend had just told me she calls these “coincidences,” God kisses. I saw it as a sign that God can speak to us in everything. My husband and I went about our activities while the music played. As I was leaving the bedroom, he was coming across the living room and instead of passing each other as I expected, he reached out for my hand and pulled me in to dance with him.

 

As I we danced I looked at his face and saw the young man I married 46 years before. Tears came to my eyes as I realized in that moment, that my desire was for my husband; that God had changed my heart.

1 comment

  1. Your blog was beautiful. You are a Lady walking in the Light. I am so proud you changed directions, and now you are on the right road. Love you Glo

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