By Kristin Bonham
The theme of the Beautiful Conference this past January was Fearless. In our planning meetings, we talked about the many different places women are coming up against fear and how we can move forward without letting it stop us. Over the next few months, The Beautiful Blog is highlighting Fearless steps and what we are doing about them. I’m excited about this series because when we share our vulnerabilities, we have a chance to encourage others to move past their fears too!
At the Fearless Conference, Lisa Bevere said something that nailed my fear. She said, “One year from now, you will _________.” My fear was that I will be in the same place. That I will not accomplish the big scary thing God has put in my heart. That I won’t feel any different and maybe I will even feel worse.
During the conference, I was dealing with a weird health issue that I hadn’t experienced before. A week later, I got a bad cold for several weeks and then a series of strange symptoms. It’s been one thing after another and I just want to figure it out.
I have been asking God to show me what is going on and if my various random symptoms over the past few months are related. I have been doing what I think I should to get better all the while asking for the cause. My focus has been on discovering the root of my problems and solving the puzzle. To be honest, I have not been fearless. I have been anxious and worked up. I have asked Jesus to fix it but I have not changed my focus.
I learned many years ago to stop praying against my fear… When I pray against whatever I am afraid of, I am focused on avoiding the pain associated with that fear. I know that I can only focus on one thing at a time and if I am praying against something, I am focused on that.
The things I have come up against recently bring fear right in my face. I can’t control what’s happening. If I could, I would change it right away! I can’t change some of the circumstances that are bringing anxiety but I can change my focus. I have control over what I am thinking about.
It’s not about the absence of Pain. It’s about the presence of Him.
I’m either focused on my pain or I’m focused on His presence in my life. I am focused on God and who He is first, or what I want Him to do for me. I don’t know about you but I easily get sucked into focusing on my pain and what I need God to do to fix it. The enemy keeps me spinning with looking for roots instead of giving it to God and trading my fear for His peace. I want to live from the truth that He is God and no matter what is happening in my life, that doesn’t change! …and I’m fairly certain I will practice this the rest of my life.
Jesus said, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have
many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33