By Ashley Kuczynski
This past January I attended the first Beautiful Women’s Conference, Fearless! I played a part in planning prior to the event, a role in entertaining during the conference, and attended with an expectant heart ready to receive a memorable and impactful word from the Lord. I also thought I may leave with something that the Lord would ask me to do. I did not anticipate the bold marching orders I got!
At the age of 13, before God, my church, and parents, I made a commitment to remain sexually pure until marriage. While I am now 32 and have fully and wholly honored that commitment, it is one that, until now, I have deigned to speak about to others. At the conference, the Lord made it very clear that I have withheld discussing this piece of my relationship with Him with others for so long and it is now something that I am to passionately and publicly profess and proclaim.
Today’s society esteems promiscuity and shames modesty… and it’s EVERYWHERE. It’s no wonder that giving a shout out to sexual purity hasn’t been compelling. Recently, on a pop culture morning show, I heard a panel of co-hosts shame a fellow co-host for remaining a virgin until the age of 27. If 27 is “old” in the world of virginity then surely I am a senior citizen. Sadly, this is the common.
Another popular opinion is that I am still single because I have chosen purity. Love, honor, commitment, trust, security,… (and I could go on) are the components of a healthy relationship and are believed by today’s society to come after or as a result of physical intimacy. God’s design is that those things exist first and physical intimacy follows a marriage commitment. The belief today is that what God preserved for marriage is what I must do to even obtain it. Occasionally the lies of living in a world that blatantly praises what is contrary to my commitment creep in. If I ever do start to believe them, instead, as “Sunday School” as it sounds, I choose to believe God more.
I’m certain that my commitment to purity is the right, best, wisest, and God-honoring choice. But, I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t say that at times I feel alone or even weird for making this choice that is misunderstood and even ostracized in today’s world. I definitely have the desire to be married one day and to be physically intimate with my husband! However, I want to follow the wisdom God’s Word gives on the best way to enter into a marriage relationship.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20 and 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5 encourage us to abstain from sexual immorality, honor God with our bodies, and remind us that our bodies are temples for the Holy Spirit and were purchased at the very highest price. I want to honor God in all I do and while I don’t get it right in every area every day, purity is a part of striving to honor Him with all of me.
Purity is possible… it’s possible for those who are single, it’s possible for those in dating or engaged relationships, it’s possible for those who have not chosen purity in the past, and it’s possible for the futures of growing children. I could not and would not have honored this commitment if it were not for God’s help. His presence, conviction, guidance, and love are the only things that have generated both the desire and follow through.
“The Lord is good to those whose hope is in Him, to the one who seeks Him; it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the Lord”. Lamentations 3:25-26