Kesha Webb, GFC 

I’ve been so blessed to have the most precious people in my life.  Some of those people were instant connections, others … not so much. However, I believe God used the “not so much” connections to diversify my portfolio and teach me that there were treasures in my connections regardless of my personal experience. 

Then that one person walks into my life that tests the boundaries of my walk with Christ. The She-bully and the tormenter of any poor soul she smells that is weak. She criticizes everything, talks about everyone, debates all topics and actively looks for information on the internet to wrestle with her next victim. 

Surely God would want me to intervene, put her in her place, and save the world  from her evil and arrogance.  On the contrary, God put a mirror in front of my past and showed me that the reason why I wanted to put my She-bully in her place was because My She-bully was me! Yes, she was packaged differently and took evil to levels I could never think of but her behavior had once lived in my heart before Jesus saved me from myself. Instead of building up an arsenal of words to destroy her, God’s tender loving mercy and kindness wanted me to love her. He wanted me to pray for the hurt that hardened her heart and with compassion and patience, look for cracks in the wall she had built as a fortress.

Instead, my response to God’s request to love my enemy was tolerance. I tried to ignore the gossip and the mean-girl remarks she said to me. When she walked towards me at work, I would walk the other way. When others complained I would agree as they validated the frustration I had wrapped in silence.

Then something unexpected and profound happened. I was told that I would be indirectly reporting to my She-bully! All my current projects and employees would eventually roll-up to her. 

Now, God had my undivided attention and I had no other choice but to quit or turn to Him for my next steps. He led me to Luke 6:32-33 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.”

It was at that moment I knew that the Lord was using my humiliation to humble me. So, I began to ask Him for ways to pray for her and to serve her. I asked Him to remove the contamination and hurt I carried for her in my heart.  Since He is a merciful God He began to show me that my misery was my ministry. He showed me that “hurt people, hurt people” but “healed people heal people” so every time my She-bully was unstable God graced me to stabilize her. In turn, I was no longer triggered by her behaviors because God replaced my complaints with compassion. He gave me peace in patience and, most importantly, He gave me creative ways to solve critical issues on her behalf. I found treasures in her personality and highlighted those areas so she would see alternative ways to address her frustrations. In time, she began to trust me as I began to trust God each day for her. That’s when the sweetest miracle happened. She became my greatest advocate and today she is a good friend. God showed me that the most difficult people are the ones with the greatest wounds and although it’s not God’s Will for me to be mistreated, it was His Will for me to be used. Only a merciful God can turn a She-bully into a She-beautiful and I am grateful for the authenticity of our connection. My hope for all of us is that when it’s hard to love someone, we’ll choose to love harder. 

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