My Big Secret!

March 15, 2024

By: Wendy De Jesus

“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”
Philippians 4:6

I remember a time when I thought that I didn't know how to pray. I remember being in rooms and in conversations where the people around me were “Prayer Warriors”. Every time one of these individuals would volunteer to pray, I knew those moments the room would be filled with the presence of God. But whenever I was praying on my own or building up the courage to pray in public and around others, I didn’t feel that same presence. 

Slowly, this fear of “not knowing” how to pray hindered my private prayer time to the point where it was practically non-existent. My days no longer started in conversations with God, and my nights were filled with silence. The enemy convinced me that I was not good enough to pray to my Heavenly Father. The enemy had taken the most personal and powerful gift that God had given me; and I couldn't even see it happening. 

You see, in Philippians 4:6 it tells us, “Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I was going through a very tough time and never even prayed. I stopped talking to God, because I didn’t feel worthy to be in his presence and surely didn’t feel worthy to pray for anyone else. 

Then, suddenly, something changed. When God gives you an assignment, it’s not by mistake. I remember a few years ago sitting down in a small group when the leader asked me if I would, “Pray us out”; I froze. I felt so paralyzed by her request that I wanted to run and never come back. In group settings, I was always the one willing to raise my hand, sharing what I was going through, and loving to ask questions, so I could learn more about God. But no one knew my big secret → I wasn’t spending time with God when I was alone because I didn't think I knew how.  

I sat there silent the rest of the night, dreading the end because I didn't want others to know my secret. The time finally came, and practically without a breath from how nervous I was, I said, “I DON'T KNOW HOW TO PRAY! Can someone else please do it?” I remember everyone’s eyes on me and for a moment I thought, “Great, they hate me! I don’t belong here! I am a fraud…” But the sweetest words came from across the table, “Don’t let the enemy convince you that you can’t pray! Yes… you… can!” At that moment, I had the revelation that I had allowed the tactics of the enemy to hinder my relationship with God. I smiled, took a breath, built up all my courage, and prayed! I was praying! 

The part that I didn't realize was how God was getting ready to put me in spaces where I was going to be asked to go to war in prayer for myself and for the people that I loved. When I started praying on my own again in private and when given the opportunity to pray for others arose, I never passed it up. I began to see transformation in my life, to hear from the Holy Spirit, and to find joy in prayer again. You see, friends, prayer is our universal language. Prayer is a gift that protects us and covers us. So if you find yourself believing the same LIE I did, I am here to tell you, “Don’t let the enemy convince you that you can’t pray! Yes…you…can!”

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