By: Lauren Maloney
“The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock.”
Matthew 2:25
Recently my sister lost her husband after 10 years of marriage and 17 years together. They practically grew up together, building their life up from the time they were 20 years old. You could say they knew everything about each other. After many years with the same person, you could almost pick their next move. Unfortunately, what she didn’t know was that he was in a darker place than she realized. My brother-in-law took his own life. I got a call I would never have expected to get from my sister. This charismatic, confident man, and father of 3 beautiful girls believed his only option was to leave this world behind. Shock and utter disbelief ran through our family as we tried to help our sister pick up the pieces of her new life. It made me wonder whose words he was building his life on.
Life was never perfect by any means. Whose life is ever perfect? There’s ups and downs in every marriage. But seeing my sister navigate through this time makes you realize there’s so much more going on in a person’s mind than we know. It’s easy to say I trust in God's plan for my life “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future”, but are we truly giving him the reins to lead. I heard a quote the other day “God will steer the boat, but we must row, if we don’t row we are not going to move.” Are we trusting Him to direct us, not where we want to be but where His purpose for us will take us. Are we trusting Him on the “bad days”? On the days you don’t want to get out of bed, whose voice do you listen for? The Holy Spirit guides us, but are we quiet enough to listen?
It's easy to spend hours scrolling on social media, watching others' seemingly perfect lives. Lives that seem from the point of view of our phones to be what we all want. The perfect spouse, the perfect kids, the perfect home, and the perfect job. But the things the world says are perfect are usually the things that are far from the kingdom of God. The only thing that is perfect that we can achieve is being close to the perfect son. And He gave us instructions on how we should live our life. Living for Jesus doesn’t guarantee an easy life; challenges will still arise, but trusting in Him means He supports us when we fall.
When we feel stuck turning to Him will always be better than turning to the world for help. Numbing the pain with substance will never fix the problems but quieting our hearts with prayer can bring true peace. My sister asked her husband to go to church many times throughout their marriage, but he always made the excuse how their weekends were far too busy. If she could go back and have the opportunity to bring him before God, being aware of the outcome, I am certain she would have done so. But she also cannot live in the “what if” stage of grief as she has young girls to raise. When life gave her the worst possible scenario, I’m so happy to say that the Sunday after his passing they were in church. She’s leaning into God’s promise for her life more than ever because she knows in a situation this difficult there’s only the hope in Jesus that we can find joy again. "The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock." Matthew 7:25